I really like sex, don't get any but would rather just cuddle anyway after the perverted filth I expose myself to. Porn is just one of the things that messes up the whole way you perceive love sex and people. I read a book about how this shy guy was really in love with this girl he met at a party, and they had a really tender relationship, really fragile and sweet, never had sex, then she invites him up to her flat and tells him that she's been fucking someone else the whole time, and even at their most tender moments, she was secretly getting taken from behind while talking to him, or nipped off to the toilet cos she doesn't feel vewwy well but has sex in reality. And she's just staring right at him telling him these things, to see if he will burst into tears. It seemed more likely that he would smash her head into the wall or something but I think it was assumed he just left, further helping the point that he's a doormat cos he isn't as ruthless as some people can be. And my dad lent me this book. I can be very fucked up but I don't see the point going into it here. I'd rather have less junk in my head and be more focussed and healthy. You know you're fucked up when you don't like saying you're fucked up.